The Class Entitled "Club Boxing Circuit with Julie" at LA Fitness in Yonkers is Not a Boxing Class

The class entitled "Club Boxing Circuit with Julie" at LA Fitness in Yonkers is not a boxing class. It is a cardio class that focuses on music, fun, and burning calories, and I knew right away.

I walked in fifteen minutes prior to class and the room was filled with overweight middle-aged women and one gigantic black guy in the corner wrapping his hands. I found solace in this man. I went over to him, not saying a word, and too wrapped my hands. He began to hit the bag a bit with his Everlast gloves, and I jumped rope. He then looked around and asked one of the women if there was a class that was about to start, and they smiled at him and said "yes." So he left, not wanting to disrupt the class.

An older gentleman with gel slip-on hand-wraps tried to stop him from leaving, telling him how great of a workout it was. As more people filled the room another "dad" type walked in and a few younger, better looking women as well.

I realized I was the only one with hand-wraps on, and that the instructor was adjusting the microphone strapped to her head.

"Ok everybody, let's start with a warmup! Let's run around the room in a big ciricle!" she said. I smiled, kept my eyes to the floor, and ran. It felt good.

As we ran, she was adjusting the steppers that were arranged along the floor in two long rows. After our run, we warmed up the arms with some punches. And when this started, I noticed a few interesting things. First was that our instructor's elbows were higher than her hands as she threw her punches. Second, that the old guy in front of me with his slip on gel hand-wraps just had his elbows out, and was spinning his hands around each other. And that thirdly, everyone in the class fought southpaw.

I'd never seen a Billy Blanks Tae Bo video, but I assumed it was something similar.

Then, the instructor yelled "switch!" and everyone went from southpaw to orthodox. I just kept stairing at myself in the mirror waiting for one of us to blink. When she yelled out "hooks!" and everyone started doing broad sweeping hooks, I just tried to keep looking nice.

After that little punching warmup, she said, "Ok everyone! Pick a stepper, and I need four people per heavy bag!" The thumping club music never eased and I draw the line at two people per heavy bag. I mean, I know it's a big class, but four people on one bag is just ridiculous. So, with my hand-wraps still on, I picked up my bag and quickly left the two old guys, dozen moms, and half dozen hotties.

After some time on the treadmill, escalator, bench press, and ab machines, I went back to the locker room and looked back in the room. The class was all crab walking around the floor and I was left feeling that I made the right decision.

***

Last week, as I hit the heavy bag alone, a guy came up to me and told me he trains people on the side, and tries to incorporate boxing with his trainees. He was looking for some tips and asked if I could show him a couple things. After a few minutes of a couple basic things, he told me I should teach a class. "I saw the schedule. They already have a boxing class here," I said. Oh, how wrong I was.

***

For those of you who don't know, I love writing letters, and just wrote this for LA Fitness of Yonkers:

Dear Yonkers LA Fitness,

            I have some troubling news for you: Your Sunday morning class entitled “Club Boxing Circuit with Julie" is a fraud, hoax, ruse, a deception.  It is not in fact a boxing class. It’s more likened to a Tae Bo, or even dare I say, a Richard Simmons cardio class.

            The nice guy inside of me wants to say that it is not Julie’s fault, that she seems like a sweet, and motivating person who takes pleasure in helping others. That she named her class "boxing" because it draws people in, then she incorporates hand movements likened to punches to justify the name and takes advantage of the heavy bags that hang in the multipurpose room. The more cynical side of me says that she, and you, should know better than to call your class “Club Boxing Circuit with Julie.”

            I boxed in college, had six NCBA USA Boxing amateur bouts, was president of the university’s club, was ranked 3^rd in my weight class in the northeast, and helped coach our guys to nationals. Since moving to New York in 2010, I’ve been looking for a good boxing gym, one with both flexible hours and a reasonable price. So far, to my knowledge, a gym such as this does not exist in Westchester County. So I joined LA Fitness. The facilities are flawlessly clean. There are plenty of machines. The hours are great, and you have heavy bags. It is nearly perfect for me.

            Since signing up a few months ago, a number of people have asked me to teach them to box while I work out on the bags. I don’t know what your policy is regarding non-employees doing personal training, so I always have declined. I have always referred them to your Sunday “Club Boxing Circuit with Julie" class. I was eager myself to get in a good workout and keep my skills honed in the class. And of course, much to my chagrin, “Club Boxing Circuit with Julie" was not the class that the name suggested.    

            “Club Boxing Circuit with Julie" has its place in the world, but the name is misleading, and your website’s description is even more so: “Train like a pro! Winning boxing combinations and athletic drills to challenge you like no other! Bring your own boxing gloves and wraps.”

            Now, I’m realistic. LA Fitness is a national brand and I’m sure none of you reading this actually control anything that is on your website. To change anything on your website, you’d probably have to talk to your boss’s boss’s boss.

            So, how do we fix the problems with “Club Boxing Circuit with Julie"? We first must change the name to “Cardio Box with Julie” and then have a second class some time on Sunday called “Learning Basic Boxing with Pre” The description could say “Learn basic boxing moves and get in a great workout! This is not your mom’s cardio class! Bring your own gloves, wraps, and jump rope!” Oh hell, you could just use the same description from Julie’s class. I’ll even teach Julie for free. Hell, I’ll teach the whole thing for free if you just change Julie’s class name.

            You know, between you and me, I was going to start volunteering at the local community college as an ESL teacher. They have a program where volunteers sit with non native English speakers to help them develop their English speaking skills. It sounds great, but I’m not as offended at people’s inability to speak English in my community as I am at the title “Club Boxing Circuit with Julie." If you are looking for a class that will actually teach people basic boxing technique instead of crab walking and hand twirling, feel free to reach out to me.

            And by the way, I have a good job and don’t need the money. I’ll do this service for free.

Best,

Jon “Pre” Harahan