What does one say about a tragedy? I've been asking myself that since
Vonnegut posed it to me in Slaughterhouse Five. I've posed the question on this
very blog. The answer is always the same: "Hell if I know."
When I was told that they "caught the guy," there wasn't much to think really. It was just another new fact to my life that had been realized. I wasn't happy, perhaps a touch of relief, though.
For a while there I knew there'd be no convicting anyone, that these things happen thousands of times a day worldwide, that we were all just unlucky to be living this reality. I knew the Tampa PD had given up, or forgot.
If I can be happy about anything, it's how wrong I was. So I send my thank to Detective Sal Augeri, and the rest of the Tampa PD. I never met Detective Augeri, I only know him through an email I sent him that first day with the attached voice mail.
***
These last couple days, for me at least, have been the most difficult in years. Everything comes back, and is brought up again. Not only do I have to put up with life as it normally stands, but now this as well. That's not to say I'm not reminded of what happens every single day, it's just that the last couple have been harder than most of the ones that preceded them.
I read all the articles I could find about the press conference, the suspect, et cetera. They mostly all go into some sort of detail as to the murderer's wrap sheet. I try my very best to be empathetic, to be understanding, when reading what he's done prior to this. Maybe that first kid he beat up at age eleven...maybe when he stopped those firefighters...maybe when he was in Juve-y...maybe that's how he got to the point when he started robbing and assaulting innocent people. Maybe, maybe, maybe...Then I think, fuck all that noise, that balderdash, that humbuggery, claptrap, hokum, drivel, and quackery. Fuck all that bullshit. The dude murdered my friend.
Do I forgive David Earl Williams Jr, then? No, of course not. It's not that I'm not empathetic, compassionate, or just. It is that I refuse to pardon him for murdering Ryan, and cannot cease these feelings of indignation against Williams. On my end, there will never be any forgiveness, no pardoning of his crimes.
That being said, the majority of the comments left by the readers of these articles are sickening. I don't recommend reading any of them if you want to stay sane, and if by some strange chance an editor of these articles is reading this blog post (which I assure you, they are not) they should remove the comment sections where people can spew hate speech behind screen names. Since Ryan's killer was black, and Ryan was white, does not make this crime in the least bit racially motivated. And since that's the case, Mr. and Mrs. McCall are not somehow better or worse people than the parents of the gunned down Trayvon Martin. Obama didn't kill Ryan McCall, neither did any of his liberal policies. The judge who sentenced Williams before these crimes should not be made to suffer for not passing down a harsher sentence beforehand in hopes that a longer sentence could have prevented Ryan's death.
And last but not least, we do not need to give David Earl Williams Jr. the firing squad, or hanging, or to drag him to death with a pickup truck, or give him lethal injection, or crucifixion, or any other way we've been systematically killing people for the last few thousand years. We as a society, as a species, should strive to be better than Williams, to transcend and not be influenced or persuaded by his own disgusting actions. Killing him doesn't do a damn thing. And it sure as hell wont denture anyone from robbing and killing whomever's next. On the other hand, I'm not saying I'm completely against the death penalty, either. He ended Ryan's life and I probably wouldn't lose much sleep if the justice system chose to end his. But damn it anonymous internet commenters, you don't need to be so damn hateful and passionate about wanting someone dead. What the hell is wrong with you?
***
I'll be home this weekend to do some laundry, get a couple runs in, buy some beer, and eat my body weight in Bravo. Hit me up if you're in town.
When I was told that they "caught the guy," there wasn't much to think really. It was just another new fact to my life that had been realized. I wasn't happy, perhaps a touch of relief, though.
For a while there I knew there'd be no convicting anyone, that these things happen thousands of times a day worldwide, that we were all just unlucky to be living this reality. I knew the Tampa PD had given up, or forgot.
If I can be happy about anything, it's how wrong I was. So I send my thank to Detective Sal Augeri, and the rest of the Tampa PD. I never met Detective Augeri, I only know him through an email I sent him that first day with the attached voice mail.
***
These last couple days, for me at least, have been the most difficult in years. Everything comes back, and is brought up again. Not only do I have to put up with life as it normally stands, but now this as well. That's not to say I'm not reminded of what happens every single day, it's just that the last couple have been harder than most of the ones that preceded them.
I read all the articles I could find about the press conference, the suspect, et cetera. They mostly all go into some sort of detail as to the murderer's wrap sheet. I try my very best to be empathetic, to be understanding, when reading what he's done prior to this. Maybe that first kid he beat up at age eleven...maybe when he stopped those firefighters...maybe when he was in Juve-y...maybe that's how he got to the point when he started robbing and assaulting innocent people. Maybe, maybe, maybe...Then I think, fuck all that noise, that balderdash, that humbuggery, claptrap, hokum, drivel, and quackery. Fuck all that bullshit. The dude murdered my friend.
Do I forgive David Earl Williams Jr, then? No, of course not. It's not that I'm not empathetic, compassionate, or just. It is that I refuse to pardon him for murdering Ryan, and cannot cease these feelings of indignation against Williams. On my end, there will never be any forgiveness, no pardoning of his crimes.
That being said, the majority of the comments left by the readers of these articles are sickening. I don't recommend reading any of them if you want to stay sane, and if by some strange chance an editor of these articles is reading this blog post (which I assure you, they are not) they should remove the comment sections where people can spew hate speech behind screen names. Since Ryan's killer was black, and Ryan was white, does not make this crime in the least bit racially motivated. And since that's the case, Mr. and Mrs. McCall are not somehow better or worse people than the parents of the gunned down Trayvon Martin. Obama didn't kill Ryan McCall, neither did any of his liberal policies. The judge who sentenced Williams before these crimes should not be made to suffer for not passing down a harsher sentence beforehand in hopes that a longer sentence could have prevented Ryan's death.
And last but not least, we do not need to give David Earl Williams Jr. the firing squad, or hanging, or to drag him to death with a pickup truck, or give him lethal injection, or crucifixion, or any other way we've been systematically killing people for the last few thousand years. We as a society, as a species, should strive to be better than Williams, to transcend and not be influenced or persuaded by his own disgusting actions. Killing him doesn't do a damn thing. And it sure as hell wont denture anyone from robbing and killing whomever's next. On the other hand, I'm not saying I'm completely against the death penalty, either. He ended Ryan's life and I probably wouldn't lose much sleep if the justice system chose to end his. But damn it anonymous internet commenters, you don't need to be so damn hateful and passionate about wanting someone dead. What the hell is wrong with you?
***
I'll be home this weekend to do some laundry, get a couple runs in, buy some beer, and eat my body weight in Bravo. Hit me up if you're in town.
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